from now on my penis is your penis
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
