I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
