Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
