whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
