Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
barbara walters just said penis...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
