just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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