I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
