new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize