even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
