so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
