Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
