we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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