I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
