Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
