Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
