So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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