party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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