I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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