we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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