Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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