It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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