we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We have so much sex to catch up on
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
