He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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