Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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