We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
