i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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