My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize