This girl is more easily done than said...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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