someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize