Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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