Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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