Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
