is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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