Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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