I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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