I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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