I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
