all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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