I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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