he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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