There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
