Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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