Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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