Christians are straight up FREAKS
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
