There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
