So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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