As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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