I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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