$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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