I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
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Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
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Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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