also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
