eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
