Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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