Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
