dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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