If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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