Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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