I heard we made out
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
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i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
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IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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